This is a summary review of The Book Of Joy containing key details about the book.
What is The Book Of Joy About?
The Book of Joy by Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu offers a conversation between two spiritual leaders on how to find joy and peace in difficult times. (Full Summary…)
The Book Of Joy Summary Review
“The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World” is a literary masterpiece that immerses readers in an enlightening journey through the profound and uplifting conversations between two eminent spiritual leaders, Nobel Peace Prize Laureates His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu. This exceptional work delves into the tapestry of their enduring friendship, which has withstood more than five decades of exile and the relentless challenges of oppression.
The narrative unfolds in April 2015 when Archbishop Tutu embarked on a poignant pilgrimage to the Dalai Lama’s sanctuary in Dharamsala, India. The purpose of his journey was twofold: to commemorate His Holiness’s eightieth birthday and to engage in a week-long dialogue that sought to address a fundamental existential question – How do we discover and cultivate joy in the face of life’s inexorable suffering? What transpires is a remarkable expedition into the essence of True Joy, the Hurdles to Joy, and the Eight Pillars of Joy.
A distinctive feature that distinguishes this literary masterpiece is its multifaceted approach. The first layer of the book gracefully unfurls the profound teachings of the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Tutu on the subject of joy. The second layer seamlessly integrates cutting-edge scientific insights into the elusive nature of joy and enduring happiness. Finally, the third layer paints a vivid and intimate portrait of the authors’ shared week, providing readers with an unparalleled glimpse into their extraordinary friendship.
The dialogue between these two spiritual luminaries is a tapestry woven with threads of humor, profound wisdom, and deep insights. The book navigates through the labyrinth of human existence, fearlessly confronting formidable adversaries such as fear, stress, anger, grief, illness, death, and the ceaseless quest for lasting happiness. Through personal anecdotes, profound spiritual practices, and the lens of scientific inquiry, the authors adeptly guide readers on a transformative journey towards a more joyous and meaningful life.
The convergence of the Dalai Lama’s Buddhist perspective and Archbishop Tutu’s Christian faith enriches the narrative with a profound universality that transcends religious boundaries. It renders the book accessible and resonant to a wide-ranging audience. This narrative is not confined to abstract philosophical discourse but is deeply rooted in the authentic life experiences and tribulations of these iconic figures.
The prose is both eloquent and engaging, making it a compelling and intellectually enriching read. “The Book of Joy” strikes an exquisite balance between imparting profound spiritual wisdom and offering practical, actionable guidance. As a result, it becomes an invaluable resource for readers embarking on their personal odysseys in pursuit of joy and fulfillment.
What distinguishes this book is the intimate window it opens into the authors’ genuine friendship – a friendship characterized by laughter, gentle teasing, and a warmth that transcends religious, cultural, and geographical boundaries. Their interactions serve as an inspiring testament to the transformative power of authentic human connection and boundless compassion.
In summation, “The Book of Joy” represents a masterful exploration of the essence of joy amidst the intricate tapestry of life’s complexities. The collaborative efforts of the Dalai Lama, Archbishop Tutu, and Douglas Abrams have yielded a timeless guide that transcends religious, cultural, and personal disparities, offering readers an illuminating roadmap towards a more joyful and purposeful existence. This book is not merely a literary work but a beacon of light in the pursuit of lasting happiness.
Who is the author of The Book Of Joy?
Dalai Lama is a bestselling author. He travels extensively, speaking eloquently in favor of ecumenical understanding, kindness and compassion, respect for the environment, and, above all, world peace.
Desmond Mpilo Tutu won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1984 and was only the second black person ever to receive it. His policy of forgiveness and reconciliation has become an international example of conflict resolution, and a trusted method of postconflict reconstruction.
How long is The Book Of Joy?
- Print length: 354 pages
What genre is The Book Of Joy?
Nonfiction, Self Help, Spirituality
What are good quotes from The Book Of Joy?
“The more time you spend thinking about yourself, the more suffering you will experience.”
“We create most of our suffering, so it should be logical that we also have the ability to create more joy. It simply depends on the attitudes, the perspectives, and the reactions we bring to situations and to our relationships with other people.”
“… The three factors that seem to have the greatest influence on increasing our happiness are our ability to reframe our situation more positively, our ability to experience gratitude, and our choice to be kind and generous.”
“Wherever you have friends that’s your country, and wherever you receive love, that’s your home.”
“When you are grateful, you are not fearful, and when you are not fearful, you are not violent. ”
“The Dead Sea in the Middle East receives fresh water, but it has no outlet, so it doesn’t pass the water out. It receives beautiful water from the rivers, and the water goes dank. I mean, it just goes bad. And that’s why it is the Dead Sea. It receives and does not give. In the end generosity is the best way of becoming more, more, and more joyful.”
“There are going to be frustrations in life. The question is not: How do I escape? It is: How can I use this as something positive?”
“Seek to be an oasis of caring and concern as you live your life.”
“… It’s like a flower. You open, you blossom, really because of other people.”
“If you are filled with negative judgment and anger, then you will feel separate from other people. You will feel lonely. But if you have an open heart and are filled with trust and friendship, even if you are physically alone, even living a hermit’s life, you will never feel lonely.”
“You show your humanity by how you see yourself not as apart from others but from your connection to others.”
“We are fragile creatures, and it is from this weakness, not despite it, that we discover the possibility of true joy.”
“If something can be done about the situation, what need is there for dejection? And if nothing can be done about it, what use is there for being dejected?”
“Joy is the reward, really, of seeking to give joy to others. When you show compassion, when you show caring, when you show love to others, do things for others, in a wonderful way you have a deep joy that you can get in no other way. You can’t buy it with money. You can be the richest person on Earth, but if you care only about yourself, I can bet my bottom dollar you will not be happy and joyful.
“Meditative practice allows us to quiet the distracting thoughts and feelings so that we can perceive reality, and respond to it more skillfully.”
” The ability to be present in each moment is nothing more and nothing less than the ability to accept the vulnerability, discomfort, and anxiety of everyday life. ”
“Adversity, illness, and death are real and inevitable. We chose whether to add to these unavoidable facts of life with the suffering that we create in our own minds and hearts… the chosen suffering.”
“It probably takes many years of monastic practice to equal the spiritual growth generated by one sleepless night with a sick child.”
“Discovering more joy does not save us from the inevitability of hardship and heartbreak. In fact, we may cry more easily, but we will laugh more easily, too. Perhaps we are just more alive. Yet as we discover more joy, we can face suffering in a way that ennobles rather than embitters. We have hardship without becoming hard. We have heartbreak without being broken.”
“If you consider yourself as something special then automatically, emotionally, you are distanced from others. You then create the basis for feelings of alienation from others and loneliness. So, I never consider, even when giving a talk to a large crowd, that I am something special… A thousand people — same human being. Ten thousand or a hundred thousand — same human being — mentally, emotionally, and physically. Then, you see, no barrier. Then my mind remains completely calm and relaxed. If too much emphasis on myself, and I start to think I’m something special, then more anxiety, more nervousness.”
― Dalai Lama XIV, The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World
What are key takeaways from The Book Of Joy?
Takeaway #1: – Suffering is an Essential Part of Life
Suffering is essential and often leads to something fruitful. In childbirth, the mother has lots of pain. However, after suffering, the mother is blessed with a new child. Another good example can be seen in the life of Nelson Mandela, who suffered for 27 years in a South African prison. After being released, he had empathy for his country and became the President of South Africa. When one uses their suffering to take their focus off of themselves, they will find happiness. Lojong, a Buddhist principle, says that conceit leads to sadness. On a trip, the Dalai Lama had severe stomach pains. On his way to the hospital, he encountered a man who was sick and close to death. When he focused on this man, he forgot about his own pain and suffering.
Takeaway #2 – Control How You React to Suffering
In terms of your physical health, if you have a strong immune system, you have better health. A sluggish immune system makes you more susceptible to colds and the flu. It is the same with mental health. If your mental state is weak, suffering might be ongoing. Fear and frustration come from the mind and you can control it and even turn it into something positive. Once the Dalai Lama had a flight canceled. Instead of getting frustrated, he and his traveling companion turned it into a fun experience. Another example comes from Bishop Desmond Tutu. He shares a story about running late for a meeting and using it as a time of prayer and meditation. You can do the same when you encounter situations you can’t control.
Takeaway #3 – Control Your Expectations and Learn Compassion
Many in Western society have unrealistic expectations and believe that more is always better. Setting expectations is fine, but how you respond or react when you cannot meet these expectations is important to your emotional well-being. A common reaction is fear, which can lead to anger. This fear, however, can be overcome with compassion. One example can be seen in the life of the scientist, Paul Ekman who was angry from childhood. He, however, learned to control his anger after meeting and experiencing love from the Dalai Lama. The psychologist, Joseph Forgas, having some sadness, however, can actually have positive outcomes. Being able to relate to sadness can make you more sensitive and generous. Another example comes from the Dalia Lama who was overcome with sadness when his teacher died. Instead of giving into his feelings, he turned his grief into something positive by fulfilling the wishes of his teacher.
Takeaway #4 Envy and Loneliness Can Impact Your Health
Low social interaction can lead to loneliness and other emotional problems. Loneliness can be avoided by simply opening up and sharing your life. In a study conducted at Columbia University, researchers found that individuals who practiced using possessive pronouns like I and me, were more prone to stress and physical ailments. Envy can also have a negative effect on one’s life. It, however, is harder to overcome because it is more natural behavior. A primatologist once did a research project in which he treated one monkey better than another. The monkey that wasn’t treated fairly became furious. This shows that desiring fairness, when not received, can make one unhappy. In the 1990s, a group of Tibetans worked in the United States and sent money home to help their families. Although this was a positive thing, it turned negative when neighbors and others became jealous of their newfound prosperity.
Takeaway #5 Near-Death Experiences Can Lead to Joy
Escaping death or overcoming great difficulty will almost always make one happier. During the Democratic election in South Africa in 1994, people showed up in record numbers because they were elated with having the freedom to vote. In contrast, voter turnouts in the United States that same year were quite low because of a lack of appreciation. Under Chinese rule, the Tibetan language was abolished and the works of many Tibetan authors were destroyed. This motivated the Dalai Lama to preserve what remained of the Tibetan book collection. Facing and realizing death is central to a life of joy. Bishop Desmond Tutu was very sick in his teenage life. He even faced death many times. He credits these near-death experiences to a joyous life.
Takeaway #6 – Humility and a Wider Perspective Bring You Closer to Joy
Now that you know how to gain control of negative emotions, let’s deal with positivity and happiness. There are eight pillars of joy, the first two being perspective and humility. Perspective encourages you to live in the now, which brings you happiness. An Australian neurologist once told a story about a sick prisoner who was on the brink of death. She regained her health when she thought that she’d be released by Christmas. But, she became ill again when she wasn’t released. Another pillar, humility, says you can’t have joy when you always think you’re better than others. When the Dalai Lama was younger, he’d become nervous when speaking because he felt superior to his listeners. As a mature spiritual leader, he now practices humility, which eases his anxiety and makes him more relatable.
Takeaway #7 – Keeping a Good Sense of Humor Can Relieve Stress
Humor is the third pillar of joy. Amid war, Bishop Desmond Tutu was given the opportunity to speak to the two opposing sides. Of course, it was a very tense situation with both being in the same room, but Tutu used humor to address the reasons for the war, that is, racism and prejudice. He had the audience laughing, which put them at ease but still got across his message. The fourth pillar of joy is acceptance. Without acceptance, it is hard to feel joy. For example, if someone has a conflict with a neighbor, they could be anxious about the relationship, blame the neighbor, or ignore the conflict completely. None of these, however, will help to resolve the problem but acceptance can. Acceptance further includes understanding that you can’t fully control relationships with others. This eases a lot of pressure over relationships which increases joy.
Takeaway #8 – Forgiveness and Gratitude Moves You Toward Joy
Everyone can benefit from being grateful. Therefore, gratitude is the fifth pillar of joy. Forgiveness is the sixth pillar of joy. Anthony Ray Hinton served 30 years in prison for a crime he didn’t commit. Decades later, the Supreme Court reversed the decision, and he was released. To move forward in his life, Hinton had to forgive. In South Africa, during Apartheid, they killed several children by tricking them into entering booby traps. When the perpetrators sought forgiveness, one mother embraced them and accepted their apology. She said that continuing to hold on to her anger would not bring her son back and unforgiveness would not bring her joy.
Takeaway #9 – Learning Compassion Increases Happiness
It is natural to feel happy when giving gifts to others. So, it is no surprise that compassionate concern is the seventh pillar of joy. Scientists have proven this concept through research. Watching young children play, they saw that children were more attracted to toys that involved helping others. Showing compassion increases endorphins and makes one feel good. The last pillar of joy is spending time on others’ happiness. Entrepreneur James Doty didn’t keep all of his wealth to himself. He donated a lot to charity. Eventually, he lost a lot of his wealth in the stock market and was advised by his lawyer to cut back on giving. He refused because giving to others made him happy. Researcher, Elizabeth Dunn, found that people feel better spending money on others than on themselves. These acts can heal and uplift anyone.
Tal Gur is an impact-driven entrepreneur, author, and investor. After trading his daily grind for a life of his own daring design, he spent a decade pursuing 100 major life goals around the globe. His journey and most recent book,